Oh, it was my fault, don't worry. When the wife got up and went over to her friend's place today, she asked me if I needed cash or if I wanted to go get food before she left (we only have one car) and I think I mumbled the equivalent of "sod off" in my sleep, and away she went.

Then, about two or three hours later, I got up, and began to look for food. Nada. Oh sure, we have stuff to put ON food. Sure. we have a goddamn TON of shredded cheese for instance. And yes, there have been times in the past that Im not proud of, where I was hungry enough to scoop handfulls of shredded cheese out of the bag and eat it, slobbering on myself and thanking god for the grand bounty.

But today was not one of those days. so I basically tried to trick my body into thinking I was eating by watching the food network. That seemed to work pretty well.

Anyway, the wife got home tonight about 1am. I took the car, and headed on my merry way to the local Kroger supermarket.

And it was closed.

For.. some... reason. I have no idea. I mean, its normally open 24/7, but I guess they were cleaning or having an orgy or possibly rolling up crack patties in the back, I have no idea, but there was no way I was getting inside as they had the doors barricaded on the inside by magazine racks and shopping carts.

So that means I have to go to the lesser kroger. Since of course, they have the monopoly on 24/7 supermarkets around here.

Im not looking forward to this of course. The other kroger is basically a shithole, and I really can't stand going in there. Its like some kind of strange 9th dimension in there... the crappy dimension.

I spend a good 25 minutes searching for a carton of eggs without a broken egg. (or two. or six)

I spend another 10 minutes trying to find a carton of milk that hadn't been expired since the reagan years.

I glanced, briefly, at the meat, entertaining the thought of perhaps tacos, and then turned away disgusted at the yummy milky-white texture of the hamburger on display.

I spend yet another 10 minutes waiting for somebody to remember they actually have registers, and that somebody, call my crazy, might want to actually buy something.

Total trip time? about an hour. Total time wasted? 45 minutes.

And people wonder why im so bitter.